Tales from the Steppes

2006-09-07

12:31 a.m.
Friday, September 8

Things here have been interesting. I am not certain if that is a good thing or not. When I was younger I considered boredom to be the ultimate enemy but now I am not so sure. Perhaps I am starting to find my tolerances for chaos.

The SU's surgery on Tuesday went exceptionally well and they found no cancer in either his kidney or bladder. That is a major relief! The doctors still have no idea why his kidney is not doing so well but at least it is not another tumor.

Today was a bit of public humiliation for me. Perhaps "humiliation" is a bit too strong a word but certainly it was a stressful occasion. I had a consultant who refused to do as I asked and essentially played chicken with me at the Planning Board. Since today was the beginning of a new session and the tenure of a new chairman, I had no idea what to expect. So I was grilled and raked over the coals before ultimately prevailing. You would think that the triumph of being able to say "I told you so" would wash away the sting of the public inquisition but saying "Nyah nyah" is not really my thing. Sure, vindication is nice. But having my supervisor do what we had agreed he was going to do instead of leaving me to hang by myself would be nicer. He did apologize for not carrying his end of the deal, but since he was not the one sitting in the hot seat, he was not the one who looked like a boob. Sigh.

And then tonight was an exciting appearance at a community meeting with a county councilmember. Now that was fun. Not. But part of my job, I guess. I could have declined the honor but since I have decided to look for a new job, contacts are a good thing.

Ugh, enough about my job. I should just get a new job and leave this to someone who enjoys getting stressed out. Or to someone that it does not bother when they are late and people are calling them and bugging them for their reviews. It seems to roll off the Doof's shoulders like so much rain without him ever getting wet. He never feels compelled to work more than 40 hours a week if he is running behind. But I am just not that person, so I should move on.

Lately I have found it difficult to write for a number of reasons. The first is that my laptop needs to be replaced, so the only time I am on a computer at home is late at night on the desktop the mongol's use. Work has been so crazy, I have not done any writing there. And then there is the feeling like I have been writing like a blind doughnut. There is a hole there, whether I choose to write about it or not. So not writing about it feels like a lie. Perhaps it will pass. Jesus, my metaphors suck. Forget about a metaphor adding clarity - I am skipping straight to obfuscation.

Perhaps I have been reading the "House of Leaves" too much. An interesting read for those who have a taste for something different.