Tales from the Steppes

2005-01-11

2:47 p.m.
Closets are for hangers, winners use the door

I am supposed to order my cap and gown this week but I am having problems summoning the energy or excitement to do so. I don't particularly care about attending my graduation and will take a pass on it if I can. I did as an undergraduate and see no reason not to continue this trend. When my thesis is accepted and they tell me I'm done, then I'll celebrate. If I need a graduation ceremony, I'll make one up that will probably involve alcohol, fire, a textbook or two, followed by intense sleep.

Perhaps more to the point, I am not looking forward to this as it is my least favorite type of public activity, short of humiliation. I don't mind public speaking; that can be fun. In this case, there is a reason for people to be looking at me. Performances go into this category as well. Sporting matches are definitely a step down. I enjoy playing sports and fighting, but I'd really rather not have people sitting around watching me. But walking across a stage to get a piece of paper? Personally, I'd rather watch lint grow. But we will see what the SU says. If this is something he cares about, then I will. He is much more into completion than I so this might be an important act of closure for him.

Speaking of the SU, I have to say that I am extremely lucky that he is as indulgent as he is. Last night I had to go pick up the VW from the body shop it had been housed at so I can make arrangements to donate it to a charity. No, it's not fixed. And I don't even know whether anyone will take it as-is. This was a lot tougher than it sounds due to a dead battery, a less-than-easy hood to open, and some disconnected wires that caused the alarm to go off. Continuously. Until I reconnected them. Anyway. I was really kind of bummed because I had put it out of my mind how much I liked to drive that car. By the time I went shopping for the CRV, I had been driving a minivan for a couple of weeks. And after that, almost anything is an improvement. The minivan doesn't really "drive"; it "hoves." So the SU suggested we just get the VW fixed and keep it. I pointed out that we really don't need four cars but he doesn't think that is an issue at all. Regardless of the impracticality of it all, it was very sweet of him to suggest it, merely because it makes me happy to drive.

As a parent, one of the least happy things about the holidays is dealing with presents that other people give your children that you would really rather not deal with. This year was particularly difficult. The SU's folks gave the 7 year old MM a woodburning set that is clearly marked as being for 13 years and up, as well as the 4 year old YM a remote controlled plane labelled for 10 years and up. Now I may not always agree with the ages listed, a six year age difference is pretty significant in these cases. Actually, I might trust the MM with the woodburning except I know what would happen - the YM would get ahold of it and burn the house down only after branding the MM with an artistic design. My older sister also sent the boys a Playstation game rated T, because of violence. Since she lives in Belgium and nothing comes wrapped, I swapped that one out and gave wrapped something else in it's stead. I found that totally hilarious, as I don't let the Mongols play with guns and army stuff, which she knows.

Far and away my least favorite present for the Mongols has been the "Aquasaurs." Here is a hint for all of you non-parents: unless you know it's ok, don't give living creatures as presents. The aquasaurs came as eggs with their own little aquarium. So now we are hatching them in spring water, as directed. Can you guess who will end up feeding them and cleaning their tank? I can - the same person who mostly takes care of the other 6 pets in the house. The SU made sure that the younger Mongols understood the lifespan of these "prehistoric crustaceans", so there will be no problems when they shuffle off into the great freshwater sea in the sky. The MM has already put in a request that we dissect them when this happens.

I have this vision of the Mongols when they are older. The YM is tearing down a city, a la Godzilla, gleefully. The MM is sifting through the ruins, in an attempt to understand how it all works. And the EM obliviously dances through the fires, kicking at her brothers if they attempt to get close to her.