Tales from the Steppes

2004-06-17

3:03 p.m.
Maybe you'll find direction around some corner where it's been waiting to meet you

I had a perfectly beastly drive into work this morning. This one of the main reasons we are moving. I like to drive, not sit in a parking lot.

But one of the biggest problems with the morning commute is not the drive itself, but the crappy morning radio. According to my rules, non-NPR radio stations should play music, not feature witless DJs and there uninformed opinions. I don't necessarily have a problem with the uninformed opinions - everyone is entitled to whatever wrong-thinking they wish to subscribe to. But why put it on the radio? If I am going to be stupid, I hope I would think to limit others exposure to it. How embarassing!

I once heard a single man going on about the horror of women breastfeeding in public and just had to wonder what life experiances he had that made his opinion worth the bandwidth he was taking up. I will even listen to music that I don't like before listening to a dj preach about any subject. Gotta love it when they take the moral route.

The one exception to the Blathering DJ rule is the honest-to-god funny dj. Haven't heard one of them in quite some time. Probably since Howard Stern became a parody of himself. I just can't understand why I am not interested in the size of lesbian stripper's breasts.

As awful as the morning djs are, there are still scarier things to be found on the radio. And I'm not talking about Rush Limbaugh or his ilk. Can't listen to him because it is too hard to drive while laughing. No, it is the fertility center ads that have me spasming for the presets.

Now, I am not infertile nor have I ever had a problem in that direction. Given how uncomfortable these ads make me, I wonder how bad it must be for someone who is suffering from infertility? The ads, with their endless success stories, seem unecessarily cruel.

Next up on my hit list are the laser hair removal commercials. I don't really have a hair issue either - I donated it along with my melanin. Regardless, I cannot imagine really wanting to allow a stranger to use a laser on my bikini line. Surely a razor isn't that bad! And why are these commercials aimed at women? Why aren't we hearing commercials about laser back hair removal? Surely that is a more pressing issue. Certainly more of a public nuisance than women's bikini lines.

I suppose I could solve these problems by just getting a cd player installed or listening to my mp3 player. But I actually like the randomness of the radio and hearing new music that I might ordinarily not get to. So most of it sucks; occasionally something good comes along. I heard my first Great Big Sea song on the radio. And where would we be if I hadn't? (OK, it was Canadian radio)

Today's title was actually on the headphones when I finished typing the above. Maybe it is just my version of a fortune cookie.