Tales from the Steppes

2005-09-08

9:02 a.m.
Thursday, September 8

You pray to statues when you sober up for fun
- The Goo Goo Dolls

Two television trucks in the parking lot before 8am. This has all the makings of being a fabulous day here at Park and Planning. It's just not enough to read about it in the Washington Post and the Gazette - you need to see it on tv as well. Maybe we can get our own station - All Scandal, All the Time.

The YM's doumbek show and tell experience apparently went quite well. Perhaps too well. It is a litle hard to decipher exactly what happened but it seems that other children were playing other drums (from home? the schools?) but the YM was pronounced the best drummer in the class. And he was asked to bring the drum back in today for music class. It sounds like something he would conceivably make up except that he did not know which day music was on but still said it was on Thursday that he was to bring in the drum.

All of this was quite offset by his behavior on the bus that afternoon. I am told that the YM stuck his middle finger in the air. When the patrols told him to put it down and asked him if he knew what that meant, he said "Yes, it means F - U - C - K." Charming.

Fortunately for the YM, I found out about this after he went to bed. This gave me enough time to think it through and realize that he does not know how to spell "fuck" and while he knows it is an obscenity, he does not know what it actually means. I know I didn't tell him how to spell it because I would have lied and spelled it "phuc" and said something about Vietnam. On his own, he would not get the "ck" portion of the word - he's just not there yet.

A little more investigation revealed that it was a boy named Steven, who has been coaching him in badness. Steven, the 10 year old with a bad attitude and a red mohawk, has decided that the YM is cool and has taken him under his wing. I have no problem with the red mohawk but the attitude and behavior are another thing altogether. Yesterday Steven allowed the YM to ride his motor scooter at the park after school. Sure, he had a helmet and pads on and yes, the YM has an excellent sense of balance, but he is a 5 year old. And 5 year olds have no business being on motor scooters.

The babysitter was present for this little escapade, so I conveyed my feelings to her with hopefully the right degree of emphasis. The MM allowed as how he told the YM not to do it. Needless to say, the YM has been told he may not be anywhere near Steven and I told the babysitter the same.