Tales from the Steppes

2005-06-03

12:00 p.m.
Walk without rhythm, and it won't attract the worm

I was rudely awoken before 6:30 this morning to discover the MM's face mere inches away from mine. Awake. Usually we have to go through great effort to wake him in the morning, as he is a suprememly sound sleeper. But this morning he decided to get up early and was completely ready to go. Why the excitement? It seems he is bringing home a hamster for the weekend. One of the fourth grade classes has a hamster as a class pet and his ever helpful teacher suggested that the MM be allowed to bring him home for the weekend in rotation with members of that class.

A few weeks back, the MM had written a persuasive letter about how he wanted a hamster and why he should be allowed to have one. I read it and I do have to say he made some good arguments. I have no good reason for refusing him this - I just don't want another hamster in the house. And there are issues with potential problems with the YM. Not that this should be the MM's problem - the fact that his brother has few inherent behavioral inhibitions is my problem to deal with. "Inherent behavioral inhibitions" Don't you like that? It is such governmentese for "has little self-control and doesn't give a shit about what you think about his actions." Not that I would have the little mongol any other way.

Unfortunately, the hamster has to spend the evening in my car. One of the MM's friend's parents scheduled a birthday party for 4pm this afternoon. Hello?? Gee, I guess I have to leave work at 3:15 to pick him up from school and drive him there. I have to take the EM as well because we will go from there out to ballet and at some point tonight, I will get the rodent to his temporary home. Apparently, the MM may get to keep the hamster permanently, as it cannot spend the summer at school.

I ask myself how bad this could possible be. I mean, the YM never did anything to the ill-fated Squooshy. Other than let him out of his cage a few times. But the YM and MM share a room and the MM falls asleep earlier and easier than his diabolical little brother. Will the YM decide to give the hamster a bath in the toilet? Paint his fur so it is a more aesthetically pleasing shade? Or just play with it and try and have it share his bed. I will try a combination of education and threats and see if that works. I have found with the EM and MM that if I offer a detailed, creative threat this will often keep them in line. With the YM, you never know if he is going to say "Cool" in response to whatever you come up with.

Work today has been full of listening to people tell strange stories. First my good buddy Josh came over to me about getting attacked by a dog while doing field work. Apparently, he ran from the dog as it came up to him. And the dog ran after him. I really needed a shot of Botox for my eyeballs as mere will power was not enough to keep them from rolling. So he spent the morning trying to track down an administrative policy about dog attacks. He talked to Legal about it, he called Bi-County. I suggested he call Animal Control, as they are generally responsible for such things. Of course, given that the dog did not actually do anything to him, besides chase him, I think the only that can happen is that the owner gets warned. And Josh ran more than he had run in a long time.

Then I listened to Swamp Girl (she delineates wetlands), who I really do like, chastise the Skullmaster about the quality of work he is producing. I turned up my music a little bit so that I didn't have to listen to them argue. Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" seemed vaguely appropriate. Then it was on to cheesemaking. Blessed are the cheesemakers? Next thing I know, Charles, the copy guy, has joined them and is telling them about a lizard he used to own. That died. So he left it in the tank and let the crickets eat it. And then he got another lizard. Obviously, I missed the beginning of the story and it's relevance. To anything.