Tales from the Steppes

2006-08-29

8:03 a.m.
Tuesday, August 29

Tonight is my first soccer practice with the YM's team. I am not sure exactly what I am doing just yet but I am sure I will have it figured out by then. It helps that I am not supposed to be teaching them the rules of the game or how to play positions. Instead we will just be working on ball handling skills. If I can teach them how to kick the ball properly, across the laces, not with the toe, I will consider the season a success. Of course, if they have a good time and enjoy the sport, I will consider it a success as well.

It is amazing how many people have such bad memories of childhood sports. Stories of Little League hell are so common it is not scary. I find it a little confusing because I have nothing like that. Any bad memories I have about sports are more related to physical adversity than of a social nature. I guess I am lucky. I would rather remember getting kicked in the face or practicing in the snow with a broken arm than being taunted and teased or made to sit on the bench. I had no idea that intraleaugue sports could be so brutal.

It is already apparent that a number of the kids on my team are the oldest children in their family. When I got back from Pennsic there were several messages waiting for me, because I had not gotten in touch with my payers to set a practice time. Which I couldn't do because I had not even received my roster when I left. Sigh. I guess by the time you get to your third child, it is hard to get all that wound up over these things.

Ok, so I mentioned some various foo and wah a while back. I am not actually going to talk about the substance of it but I will at least talk around it. Basically, I am angry at the SU. Not pissed, peeved, irritated, annoyed, chuffed, upset, disturbed, mad, or any of those other things. Angry. Probably not something that most of my friends have ever experienced and generally something to be avoided. I do not lose my temper or stamp my foot when I am angry - more that I use the anger as a catalyst for change. Not rash behavior and decisions but I have always felt that if a situation was such as to make me angry, it needs to be changed in one way or another.

This situation is further complicated by the fact that SU is having health issues. It is unclear exactly what those issues are just yet - something to do with the kidney and bladder. He is having surgery next week to fix a bladder stricture and run some diagnostic tests to determine what is going on with his kidney. This is very disturbing and may herald very serious problems. More on that later, when I have actual information, as opposed to worying conjecture.

Perhaps this may not make much sense to most people but none of the above negates my anger. It may postpone the issues and resolution but has not gotten rid of them, as it would if I were merely pissed off. Perhaps this seems selfish of me. Maybe so but at some point I guess I decided that my thoughts/feelings/whatevers still count, regardless of the SUs health issues. I have been trying to find a happy medium somewhere between the polar opposites. On the one hand, my issues are much smaller than the overwhelming health issues he deals with, so perhaps I should just drop it. On the other hand, health issues are no excuse for [insert issue]. Perhaps they are a partial explanation, which does temper my response, but I cannot just waive this one.