Tales from the Steppes

2005-10-05

9:02 a.m.
Wednesday, October 5

Ya see I wanted her real bad and I was about to give in
that's when she started talkin about true love started talkin bout sin
- The Georgia Satellites

Last night we had a family shopping experience - all of us went to the mall. I would ordinarily rather chew a limb off than do this but this time it was necessary. The SU needed a new business suit for an upcoming conference and will not buy clothes without me. The timing was too tight for me to be able get a babysitter so the mongols could just stay home. So there we were, in the men's section of first Hechts and then Nordstroms. No one died but I certainly had a headache by the time we were done.

After we were done, I sent the boys home with their father because the EM had some shopping she wanted to do. She has decided that she needs to wear something under her shirt. I think this has something more to do with social issues than reality because she does not have any actual need. Nothing is going on up there. But ok, whatever. I was not going to fight about this. I suggested she just wear a camisole but apparently that is just not enough. So off we went to the Limited Too so she could try things on. And since she had never worn anything like this before, it took forever to try things on. I am exaggerating, I know. The whole process took 1/2 hour, as that was as late as the mall was open. When you are in the Limited Too, surrounded by the posters of Hillary Duff and Ashley Simpson, time slows down so that you can feel every brain cell dying a slow painful death. I know, I could have made her go somewhere else. But sometimes it is not about me and what I want.

Finally, she found something that would work - it is in between a camisole and an actual bra. I think she is feeling a little left out because most of the girls at her school are more "developed" than she is. One of her friends even got her period already. I have pointed out to her that she is just 10 and there is really no rush on this sort of thing - why would she want to get her period anyway? But I am old and oh so uncool and I could not possibly understand. Well, she may be right. When I was her age, I ran at least once, if not twice, a day. Puberty and boys were of no interest to me.

I suppose I should have made this into a real "rite of passage" but I just didn't have it in me. Three hours at the mall and I was ready to give myself a lobotomy. If we were religious, we would have a preprogrammed "coming of age" ceremony. But we aren't. I guess I will just have to make something up at some point.

On a completely separate note, each morning the SU puts on a selection of Elvis tunes while the boys are getting ready for school. Loudly. So now the MM and YM are Elvis fans and I often hear them singing about a hunka hunka burning love. It is a strange experience because they do not know the cultural associations that go with the King. They do not know how to curl their lip or go "uh hun huh." No "Elvis has left the building" or "Thank you. Thank you very much." To counteract some of this cultural ignorance, I have been playing Mojo Nixon's "Elvis is Everywhere" for them. The MM's reaction was to ask if it was the same Elvis. When I tried to teach the YM about getting his leg going and all that, he merely danced around like a little monkey. I had real hopes, as the YM is my child with the most Elvis in him. Maybe a little too much Elvis.