Tales from the Steppes

2005-09-15

9:46 a.m.
Thursday, September 15

Si Dheag, Si Mhor
- Planxty

This morning it became crystal clear to me why I am getting nowhere with civilizing the male mongols. I had dropped the EM at school, the car at the repair shop, walked home, and was getting ready for work as the boys were just getting up. The MM lets rip a fart that I can hear through my closed bedroom door down the hall. He is proud of this accomplishment but his father, who is in the room with him at the time, tells him that it is really not necessary for him to make quite that much noise. And then proceeds to instruct him in the fine art of the "Silent But Deadly," teaching him the acronym "SBD". They continue this discussion at some length, causing one of my eyebrows to raise itself involuntarily in a strange sort of spasm. At some point, they migrate down the hall to where I am, with the MM trying to demonstrate his mastery of this skill. After he left, I looked questioningly at the SU only to be informed that he was doing this with my best interests in mind. I said I was not so certain he knew what my best interests are and he explained that yes, he did know what they are but just because he kept them in mind did not mean he was going to act on them.

Well, I have to admire his precision of word use. I think I would be even happier if he would explain to his son the concept of leaving the room when gaseous bodily emissions are imminent. Perhaps it is not always necessary to be this formal but announcing your SBDs certainly defeats part of the purpose, I would think. I guess it is better than seeing just how loud you can be. This must be a guy thing.