Tales from the Steppes

2005-07-06

3:40p.m.
Wednesday, July 6

Talk talk talk about it, you talk as if you care
I took a bunch of fireworks with us camping last weekend and the mongols, with a little help from the SU, have turned the ensuing events into the start of a family legend.

I had stopped at a place in Pennsylvania that sells all sorts of fun things, illegal to actually use in that state, on the way home from visiting the red-haired clan last month. I did not buy as much as I would like but only as much as I thought I could get away with and not receive a lecture. Most of what I got were aerials, as those are the things that are illegal in most parts of the country. And I still had the Fiendish Viking, left from a visit from the Kloskeys last summer. It had sat on my shelf for a year and many times I thought to just tempt fate and go light it off. In retrospect, I am glad I did not, as I would have either gone to jail or there would have been a repeat of that infamous scene on the Ministry lawn.

So, anyway, I had these fireworks. I did not take them all with me, as I ran out of room in the car. So I divided them in half, some to be shot off Saturday night, some for Sunday. Saturday evening came and I lined them up across the hill, not too far from the cabin. The first few went off uneventfully, with the obligatory oohs and aahs. And then I lit a fountain, which proceeded to set the grass on fire in several locations. Yes, I know, Rockrat - you told me not to set the grass on fire. But I was wearing my boots, so I stomped the fires out before they could spread. And the fire threat was at green. I am not a complete moron.

And then came the aptly named Fiendish Viking. It was supposed to have 12 shots but I was not really sure just what those shots were going to be like. It definitely surpassed our expectations as it threw up one after another explosion in the air. And then it flipped on it's side. (Perhaps caused by the fact that it was sitting on the side of a hill.) And threw an exploding projectile at an old apple tree. And then it flipped on it's other side. And threw an exploding projectile at my car.

My family insists that I nearly blew up my car but I am pretty certain they are exaggerating. I didn't even find any scorch marks.