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Tales from the Steppes


2005-06-09

11:31 a.m.
Hey there fellas, can't you see, I been replaced by batteries

Last night I saw something downright scary in the grocery store. This was a normal grocery store - Safeway to be precise, so I am sure you can go find this product yourself if you do not believe me. I don't really pay much attention to these kinds of products so they have to be shoved in my face to get me to notice them. And I realize that I am often not fully mentally present. But did I miss something? Vibrating razors??? Why does anyone need a razor that vibrates? I can see nothing good coming of this pairing. If I want a vibrator, I want a vibrator, not something with a sharp blade on it. If I want a razor, I don't want something moving around. I have enough problems not cutting my legs with a razor that is motionless. There are just some really gruesome possibilities with this product.

Perhaps I am not the person they are marketing this too. They could put it in an all black package and sell it to those who like a bit of pain with their pleasure. Maybe even make the speed variable for some real excitement. Call it Flechette. Put it in the section of the store with the toys.

I am sure there is a perfectly rational explanation for this razor. Please don't tell me. I have laughed too hard at the other possibilities and that would just spoil my fun. I prefer to live in amused ignorance than informed boredom.

Last night, after getting home from grocery shopping and ballet, I told the SU about my goal, desire, whatever, to get as many of my friends as possible to join me at Pennsic. I believe the most fun I have ever had in my life was with Squotter, DH, and others a few years ago. Seriously. Ever. Even beats Disney World. This is not an entirely selfish goal because it is not like I was the only one having a good time. I think too many of my friends have forgotten, as I had for a long time, how to just relax and not worry about anything for a while. In my case, a week. There are always reasons why we cannot put things aside for a little bit. It is a pain in the butt to go to Pennsic, I have to take care of this or that, my work needs me. On and on. All perfectly valid reasons. Most of my friends are very hard workers. But I still believe they deserve to just let loose and have a little fun and too many of them have forgotten how to do this. You know who you are.....

So anyway. I mentioned this (in a very abbreviated one sentance way) to the SU and he said "I guess you'll be starting on me next." I looked at him for a moment and then said "No, I gave up on that years ago." Alright, I know that sounds really mean. Really, really mean. But I think I may have been going about this all wrong for the past 6 years. I have tried to get him to put on his armor in many ways. I have asked nicely. I have talked about how much fun I have had at events. I have taunted him whilst wearing my armor. I have had him make me a polearm, at least partially, because no one makes a better weapon than him. No one. I have enlisted the aid of others to ask him to get off his butt. I have gotten squinky new armor, well, ok, a helm and a gambeson. I have asked him to teach the mongols to fight, as all three are interested and Storvik needs a youth combat marshall.

All of this has gotten me nowhere. Polite disinterest for the most part. Oh, he laughs at my stories of the trouble I get into. Cause. He thought my tentmate last year was hilarious.

But my comment indicating that I no longer care? That got me a reaction. Hrrrrm. Perhaps I have been making things too easy.

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