Tales from the Steppes

2005-03-01

1:27 a.m.
Deep as you go I'll follow, Deep as the water goes

Let me be perfectly clear before I write this pathetic list - I live a boring life. I have never been anywhere exciting. I have never done anything particularly unusual. No barfing in exotic locations. Nothing having anything to do with any celebrities - I don't know any famous people.

Ok, this is not a complete list. There are two classes of things that are not on it. One) Anything I would not tell my mother. 'Nuff said. Two) Anything involving bodily substances and my family. Have you ever had your child throw up in your mouth? No? Me neither. But the SU did. Heh heh. I told him not to play with the baby (don't know which one) like that after it just ate. But anyway, I am sure I have done a number of things that involved secretions, excretions, and explosions that you might not have dealt with if you don't have multiple progeny. That expell...stuff.

9 Things I've Done That You Probably Haven't

1. Arrived at my own wedding in an ambulance. Not on purpose.

2. Given birth in a bathtub at home. Not on purpose.

3. Played Janet in the Rocky Horror Picture Show floorshow at a local movie theater. I know, I look nothing like Susan Sarandon. But the theater was dark.

4. Played soccer in an international tourney only to lose in the semis in a sudden death shootoff to a team from 5 miles down the road from home. And yes, I was the keeper who missed the final shot.

5. Broke my right arm 4 times

6. Dated the Emperor of the Universe.

7. Was on the winning team for the first two AD&D tourneys held at Balticon. I would say my mother was proud, but that would be a lie.

8. Nursed an infant in almost every woman's bathroom in the old oncology building at Johns Hopkins.

9. Was a scoring member of a high school math team that was number one in the county, state, and nation. (different leagues)

Well, I am sure there are others that are directly related to my lifestyle. Like having three kids with no drugs. While it might make me a Master of the Universe, it is fairly mundane and since most if not all of you reading this have not had three kids, it seems like it is cheating a bit. Besides not being particularly interesting.