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Tales from the Steppes


2005-01-27

10:34 p.m.
Take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing for you

Do you remember the look Theoden gets on his face when the Witch King is coming in for his landing during the battle outside of Minas Tirith? It is sort of the ultimate in resigned "Oh shit" looks. Definitely the way I feel right now. Not really upset, just resigned.

Today was the first day of a new semester. I am signed up to take Paul's thesis studio, which in the past has just been students paying for 6 credits and writing their theses. Paul has decided to run it as a regular studio, with deadlines and everything. This should be a relatively good thing as I know I need more structure. And the fact that we are talking about a minimum of 10 hours a week spent writing at school should be helpful as well. There is no way that David, my advisor, and I will not meet at least once a week, as he is teaching a studio at the same time, in a different area of the studio.

The problems arise from a couple of different areas. First, I am the only person in the class writing a thesis. Everyone else is doing a terminal project, which has a completely different purpose, structure and timeline. And no, I can't change what I am doing. I am way too far down the road for that. A terminal project is basically a slightly researched studio project that is written up. For my thesis, I am not actually designing anything. The only drawings I will have are those analyzing the spaces I am studying. So the class has pin-up dates and I will have nothing to pin up or be critiqued on. This is not really a problem from my standpoint and Paul certainly understands what I am doing; it just makes me the odd person out in the class. This sort of lessens the value of the class substantially as well as being socially isolating.

Another problem is that getting this thesis done will require me to successfully negotiate between David and Paul. This could be somewhat tricky given the personalities and egos involved. Ok, mostly egos. It takes a fairly healthy ego to be a landscape architect and David and Paul are both well-endowed. Ego-wise. So the disagreements could be ugly. While Paul has more experience in the person-environment field, David is my first. Both of them feel they have a personal stake in my thesis - Paul because I am the first student in his administration to write a thesis and it looks better for the program to have publishable research coming out, David because I am his student and it is better for him to help me publish my research since he wants to be full-time and not just an adjunct. The turf war started tonight with Paul saying he would defer to David, since he was my first, but that I was in his class. David made it clear that he was my first and he was not going to work within Paul's crit date parameters for his class. Just shoot me now.

On Monday I am meeting with each of them separately to bring them up to speed on what I have been doing. Much work to do in preparation for the festivities. I have the mental equivalent of heartburn just thinking about it.

Actually, earlier today I thought I had real heartburn; a condition that only occurs in pregnancy for me. But then I realised that my abs just hurt from this morning's Pilates class. Doh!

Monday morning I have to meet with one of EM's teachers. Apparently, she is getting a C in reading because she has not been turning in a reading log and some journal she is supposed to be keeping. I asked why I was just now finding out about this problem at the end of the semester, instead of when the problem started so that it could be fixed. She indicated that she submitted comments that were supposed to be sent home on the weekly progress reports by Emma's homeroom teacher - a sub. I haven't seen a progress report in ages. So I ask Emma where these progress reports are and she tells me that she has not gotten any because she lost the folder the teacher staples them into. Hrrrrm. Now I know Emma has not been forging my signature, as I have a difficult one. What the hell is going on here? So no one has noticed that she has not been given these reports or has not returned them if she was given them?

Besides the meeting Monday morning, I have to attend another meeting Wednesday afternoon with other teachers, the guidance counselor, and God knows who else. Apparently, we need a plan. I completely agree but I suspect they are not going to like my plan. One of the major sources of EM's disorganization is the fact that she has to move around 5 or 6 times a day. She is 10 years old. That is ridiculous. It is more than most junior high schools. For an organizationally challenged child, it is the worst situation I can imagine. And of course, the fact that she has no friends at this school does not help her mindset either.

I have this feeling that something is going on and no one is telling me what it is until they spring it on me Wednesday. I don't think I am generally paranoid. I am just having a hard time figuring out why we are having a big meeting because my daughter is getting a C. It is not that I don't take this seriously. I am just finding this bizarre to first not be given feedback and then have people act like there is a crisis. Of course, I probably don't have all the information here. Seems like I am completely in the dark.

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