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Tales from the Steppes


2004-12-09

11:31 p.m.
And here at the bar the pianoman's found another nail for my heart

I just got an email from my professor. The 20 page paper that was due tomorrow is now due on Monday by 5pm. ordinarily, I wouldn't care but would still just crank it out to be ready for tomorrow. But since this is actually going to be a piece of my thesis, I am spending a whole lot more time on it that a simple research paper would ordinarily warrant. So more time is not a waste for me.

Of course, it isn't like having the weekend to work on it gets me all that much. Besides all of the previously mentioned Nutcracker performances, EM's birthday hoopla, and visits with the rents, Saturday night is the SU's company holiday party (as well at least one other party we have to stick our heads in at.) Now this is an event I approach with even more trepidation than the New Year's party I attend each year. This is one of the few times of the year that I have to play the Vice President's Wife. This role entails being properly dressed in a suitably executive outfit and having topics of conversation ready that are interesting but not controversial. This is not something that I am good at.

It is always interesting the preconceptions people have about me before they meet me. I say me, but I don't mean me. I mean the Vice President's Wife. I went out to lunch with the SU a while after he was first at his job. The rumor got started that he had lunch with a Blonde. A Not His Wife Blonde. Admittedly, I was on my way to school and probably not dressed all that well. But still, I did not fit the profile of the Vice President's Wife so I must not be that.

His current company is not the worst as far as spousal culture goes. I have had to attend functions before and sit around with the other Vice President's Wives. Sounds like a stereotype but they actually talked about things like decorating. Not one of my better subjects. Oh I know a lot about the theory of colors and placements and all that crap but I don't actually have time to do it so my contributions were limited to "Oh how nice"s. I am actually not kidding here. Want to know true boredom? Talk to people who golf but not be allowed to make snide comments about the "sport" as you try to pretend it is fascinating.

Most of the time I can get through these functions by pretending it is an anthropological expedition. I no longer kid myself that no one notices what I wear or what I do, because the people in his department do. Occasionally, they'll even try to suck up to me which I think is totally fucking hilarious. A true waste of their time and effort. With the exception of very few people, I am instantly suspicious of people's motivations when they are gratuitously complimentary.

The real problem with this fiesta is that I have nothing to wear and no meaningful time to shop in. I went out last Sunday and spent a number of hours trying things on. Apparently, I am not supposed to have shoulders, a chest, and a waist. Any two, but not all three. I think this is why I usually wear knits. Hard to find a knit cocktail dress that doesn't take me into hooker territory though. While the SU did request something sexy, there is a line that no amount of money will get me to cross. In public.

I have to admit that when I was trying on some these little outfits, I had to surpress the urge to do the Hulk pose just to see the shoulder seams blow. Maybe I need to find out where the women of the WWF shop for their cocktail dresses.

Past Few Tales


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Thursday, October 26

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Wednesday, October 18


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