Tales from the Steppes

2004-10-07

1:09 am
This time I know you're not the answer to my prayers

This was supposed to be a slow week. I looked at both my work and home calendars and there was not much on them at the start of the week. No night meetings, no social engagements. I didn't even need to go to the grocery store (sounds stupid, but not only am I slow, I have to buy a full VW load of food each week). All this was good, given that I have an exam next week and am taking the weekend off to go to Crusades. Note the use of the word "was" in the preceeding sentances. Just what the hell happened to my "slow" week?

Monday went as planned. Mostly. Probably stayed up too late working in my sketchbook but I like starting the week on 4 hours of sleep. I think the major downhill slide started Tuesday evening when someone hit my car as I was leaving YM's daycare. I will not bore you with the details of the crash but no one was injured. Except my car. Her car was fine. I wasn't moving so suffered more damage. A cop showed up shortly thereafter and we sorted everything out.
While I was not happy with this turn of events, I wasn't really that pissed off either. The other driver was waving her arms around and gesturing and seemed to be quite upset. I pointed out that I had not been moving and that she hit me and this really seemed to bother her.

So now I am dealing with the whole insurance nightmare. She has insurance issued by the state - the kind you get if no one else will insure you. Sigh. So it comes down to her word against mine, as the state people will not bestir themselves to look at the cars or the accident location. How one can make a determination of liability by sitting at a desk is beyond me.

At first, it really bothered me that the other person had lied about the accident to the police. The evidence of where our cars ended up and the associated damage did not support her claim that I had been moving. In my opinion, this is not something to lie about. Just say you didn't see me and be done with it. (Ok, so I am driving a bright red VW. Kind of hard to miss, but apparently she did.)

But then I realized that for her this is probably a survival lie. I mean, if her insurance finds against her, then she will probably lose even that. She commutes from Baltimore to Wheaton to work for the housing authority, so ahe needs her car. This will not change my actions any. I am not particularly interested in paying out of pocket to have my car fixed. I can think of other things to do with that money. But I am no longer bothered by her lie.

I know many people say it is wrong to lie. I guess I am not necessarily one of them. Which is not to say that I don't tell the truth almost always - I am a very poor liar. But I do not believe people always have the right to know the truth about everything. There are many things that are simply none of their business. I personally tend to sin by omission, change the subject or not actually answer the question. While it might be far more direct to merely say "None of your business" it also creates more trouble. Then one is forced into a discussion of that particular topic.

We feel such an entitlement to get an honest answer from people, but really we have no right to expect one. Unless we have made an agreement in advance. I know that I have felt betrayed in the past when I found out that someone lied to me but I am not certain why I expected the truth. The question I asked was really none of my business.

I think it is far more important to be honest with one's self than with others. And far more difficult.