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Tales from the Steppes


2004-08-10

11:12 p.m.
For the language of longing never had words, so how did you speak from your heart

Ok, so I lied. I did not complete the list the next day. Sue me.

I have been very amused/intrigued by the conversation about having sex on a skateboard. Maybe I don't really know what I am doing, but it doesn't seem to me that that particular movement is going to get you much. I mean, it doesn't really matter who is on top, you're both balanced at about the same point. It might be kind of cool, just as a different sort of sensation, wind in your, um, hair and all of that. But as far as efficacy goes, I'm just not so certain. Of course, it certainly wouldn't prevent me from finding out. Most likely, my biggest problem would be losing balance from laughing hysterically.

Did I mention that I am teaching YM how to skateboard? I pretty much had to, as he had already skinned his face badly while kneeling and scooting with one foot. He hit something, a small rock or a twig, and kept going while the skateboard stopped. Since he was trying it on his own, I thought I would give him a little bit of guidance. There are times when I wonder just what planet he came from. And then there are the times when I KNOW whose child he is - mine! I was teaching him how to ride over on the basketball courts at the park across the street and he decided to kneel down and scoot again. He was headed at the curb dividing the court from the grass at a high rate of speed when I yelled at him to stop. When I explained how he would flip over and hurt himself, he said it would be cool, since it was just grass. Aaaah. Four year old invulnerability. Hopefully he won't learn that it is just his imagination for a while yet.

I finally told the SU about my tentmate for Pennsic. You see, in return for a pavillon that I do not have to pack, set up, or take down, I have to share space with a sex swing. That's right. Not a typo. I was not sure I would get to go but I preregged anyway with Storvik. They had invited me to camp with them and it seemed like a good idea. Not that I actually live in Storvik or anything. Anyway. This "arrangement" is one I agreed to, but may regret. I am hoping that it becomes more a conversation piece rather than soemthing that sees much use, as I will certainly leave for the duration. Not that I am a prude or anything, but, erm, no thank you, no thank you very much. I find the whole idea of a sex swing to be amusing and befuddling at the same time. Being hyperelastic, I have never found the need for a device to help me achieve any position I chose. Fortunately, the SU took my revelation in the proper spirit. This sort of thing does not happen to just anyone and he truly appreciates my chaos vortex that pulls circumstances like this into my reality.

I got an intereting email today. Remember the class I took earlier this summer? Dates of class changed, meeting days changed, time changed? Well, my professor went to input my (and several other student's) grade and discovered we were not registered for it. Hrrrrm. I drove up there and registered and then paid for the class. I'm really pretty certain that I remember doing these things. Even my brainfarts aren't this big. Several phone calls later, I find out that the computer decided to drop me, for no reason. So now someone has to reregister me so the professor can go back and enter my grade. If this weren't so funny, I'd be pissed. What was my theme song? "Send in the Clowns"?

Here is the rest of the list of song excerpts:

"How bright the stars..." Garnet Rogers "Night Drive"

"They say you are a snuff queen..." Jimmy Buffett "Why Don't We Get Drunk"

"Well baby I surrender..." Counting Crows "Accidentally in Love"

"If you want to kiss the sky..." U2 "Mysterious Ways"

"In my mind and in my car..." The Buggles "Video Killed the Radio Star"

"In this bright future..." Bob Marley "No Woman No Cry"

"Recycling moments from others' lives" BNL "Aluminum"

"I am the fountain of affection..." Great Big Sea "When I'm Up"

"Maybe you'll find direction..." Grateful Dead "Box of Rain"

"Not counting the unmarked paths..." Indigo Girls "Love's Recovery"

"Dream, dream, filling up an idle hour" Blondie "Dreaming"

"I have squandered my resistance..." Simon and Garfunkel "The Boxer"

"Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose" James Taylor "Sweet Baby James"

"But you can't hide standing under these stars" Guster "Careful"

"I did my best, it wasn't much..." Leonard Cohen "Hallelujah"

"It's a Buck Dancer's choice, my friend" Grateful Dead "Uncle John's Band"

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